Backseat
by NarniaLover303
Summary: "Didn't her father and brother know that you should always check the backseat of a car before getting in?" The rules of womanhood from the view of Samantha Winchester. Genderswap. AU.


The first time that Samantha Winchester feels threatened because of her gender is when she is six years old and still proudly wears her pigtails. They are bouncing around happily while her Daddy sits at the bar talking quietly to a man that she has never seen before. Suddenly, the man looks down and grins at her in an overly-friendly way and reaches out a hand to stroke one of her pigtails. For some reason, even though the man has callouses on her hand and heat radiating off of the skin just like her Daddy, it doesn't feel the same and she suddenly, desperately wants to leave. However, her Daddy doesn't notice anything wrong, and she has to quietly endure the strange man's comments about "what a stunner John has" and "how he'll have to fight the boys off of this one". She wonders why her Daddy smiles at this, and tries to find the humor in the situation for weeks to come.

The second time that Samantha Winchester feels threatened because of her gender is when she is thirteen years old. She is aware that her body has changed in recent years, and grimly recalls the awkward conversation she had had with her father regarding "how young women change at this time in their life". Thankfully, Samantha knew most of this information already, and the conversation was cut short to the relief of all that were involved. She is walking down the street towards their rundown apartment in the Bronx and suddenly a green car is idling next to her. She puts a hand on the knife that she always keeps with her, and walks a little more quickly. It wasn't uncommon to hear about a woman being attacked on this side of New York, and Samantha was all too aware of the horror stories that had been circulated in recent weeks by her friends about girls who were never seen again after taking a simple walk. Since this was the case that had led the Winchester family to the Bronx in the first place, Samantha was well-versed on the specifics. The women would leave their home or place of employment, would take the same path that they always did, and simply disappeared on their way. The victims were always women. They were always teenagers or early twenties. They were never seen again. As the window rolls down on the green car, Samantha finds herself hyperventilating and resisting the urge to sprint down the cracked asphalt all the way back to the rundown apartment and the safety of her brother and father. The men begin a tirade of "hey baby's" and "oh don't be like that's" and "don't be such a bitch's" and Samantha feels a lone tear run down her cheek. She allows herself to show no more weakness than this, and the men leave her alone when she is a block away from her apartment. When the car is out of sight, Samantha sits against the broken fence surrounding a park, puts her head between her knees, cries, and promises herself that she will never feel that helpless again.

By the time that she is seventeen, Samantha Winchester knows that she is beautiful. Her brown hair flows down to her waist, she has grown into her height, and she has her mother's lips and round face. She wishes time and time again that she was not beautiful, because men hardly ever mess with girls who aren't pretty. She always chooses jeans over the few skirts that she owns, carries a knife with her at all times, and never truly feels safe without her father or brother. The promise that she made to herself four years ago reverberates in her head every second of every day, and she refuses to let her weakness ever outwardly show. She pretends to not be afraid each time that she is alone with a member of the male population, pretends to not have shaking hands each time that a car passes her at night, and pretends that she doesn't look into the back of the Impala each time that she gets in. Dean catches her on this habit one time and makes a joke out of it, asking her if she thinks someone is hiding back there for her that he doesn't know about. She turns to her father and brother, looks them dead in their amused eyes, and explains that she was taught this by her teacher in eighth grade, and hadn't they ever heard that women should always check the backseat of a car before they get in? Didn't they know that women always had to be vigilant? Didn't they know that of course it was the woman's responsibility to always be watchful, always be careful, always check the backseat before you get into a car? The amusement fades very quickly from her brother and father's matching green eyes, and she gets into the front seat with a kind of vindictive pleasure at the thought that they finally had some inkling of what she dealt with all the _fucking_ time. Because didn't they know that you always check the backseat before getting into a car?


End file.
